We regretfully admit that throughout our blogging we have left out some pretty funny stories regarding some of our flatmates in an attempt to prevent any hurt feelings. (Many times, in order to introduce ourselves to potential roommates, we would send the link to our blog and we are never sure if they continue to read our blog.) Looking back, we are truly sorry because some of the people who we lived with provided us with stories and experiences that we still talk about today. So we thought now enough time has passed that we can share these stories (semi-anonymously). We apologize if any of you are reading this and recognize yourself, but it's all true.
THE POT-HIDER:
We lived with someone who denied that she owned a cooking pot. However, each morning we would enter the kitchen to find her cooking in a pot. Then, when she was finished making her food, it would disappear again and she would maintain that there was no pot.
THE POT-GROWER:
For a few months, we lived in a guy's apartment while he lived at his friend's apartment (in the same complex). The apartment was fairly cheap and the reason was that he had 6-foot tall pot plans growing on the lanai and in the closet. Occasionally, while we were gone, he would stop by and water all the plants and then be gone again before we came home. And then, one day, all of the plants disappeared.
THE GREY-TOOTHED CONFESSOR
When we arrived at our 3-day sublet (somewhere in Europe), our new roommate showed us to our room and then spent the next 20 minutes explaining that the room was previously occupied by her and her husband before he cheated on her and left her for the other woman and that she is staying in the other room because she doesn't feel right staying in their old room and that he still calls occasionally wanting to get back with her and then the next day he changes his mind but that she thinks they will get back together at some point but she really deserves better.... and all the while we were barely listening because we were so transfixed on her teeth that were so grey, Todd described them as sucking all the light out of the room.
THE ALCOHOLIC AND THE RASHIONER:
At one point we stayed with a couple who made us laugh hysterically at times and sent us starving to the supermarket at others. We were in a work in exchange for room and board situation. So, we would spend six hours a day in the boiling sun working (painting, digging ditches, etc.) and would be fed a small bowl of peanut butter with four or five crackers for lunch. For dinner, we were fed very small portions of something which was referred to as meat, but was clearly just animal fat, and salad. The only thing that made the two weeks tolerable was the entertainment brought about by the husband who was drunk as often as his wife would allow it. Here is one story that we tell frequently:
He came home from his Tuesday job (which consisted of 10 minutes of working and 2.75 hours of drinking with the client) and passed out in a lawn chair. Later, when she accused him of sleeping off the booze, his defense was "I wasn't sleeping... I must have fallen. I'm sure of it!"
Another day, they were again arguing about the amount of drunk that he was:
MAN- "I'm totally sober."
WOMAN- "You're totally drunk."
MAN- "I'm mostly sober."
WOMAN- "You're mostly drunk. Go fill these water jugs from the well."
MAN- "But... I don't know if I can make it."
We feel much better now with all of that out in the open. We also realize that we are mean, judgmental people... but we have accepted that.
THE POT-HIDER:
We lived with someone who denied that she owned a cooking pot. However, each morning we would enter the kitchen to find her cooking in a pot. Then, when she was finished making her food, it would disappear again and she would maintain that there was no pot.
THE POT-GROWER:
For a few months, we lived in a guy's apartment while he lived at his friend's apartment (in the same complex). The apartment was fairly cheap and the reason was that he had 6-foot tall pot plans growing on the lanai and in the closet. Occasionally, while we were gone, he would stop by and water all the plants and then be gone again before we came home. And then, one day, all of the plants disappeared.
THE GREY-TOOTHED CONFESSOR
When we arrived at our 3-day sublet (somewhere in Europe), our new roommate showed us to our room and then spent the next 20 minutes explaining that the room was previously occupied by her and her husband before he cheated on her and left her for the other woman and that she is staying in the other room because she doesn't feel right staying in their old room and that he still calls occasionally wanting to get back with her and then the next day he changes his mind but that she thinks they will get back together at some point but she really deserves better.... and all the while we were barely listening because we were so transfixed on her teeth that were so grey, Todd described them as sucking all the light out of the room.
THE ALCOHOLIC AND THE RASHIONER:
At one point we stayed with a couple who made us laugh hysterically at times and sent us starving to the supermarket at others. We were in a work in exchange for room and board situation. So, we would spend six hours a day in the boiling sun working (painting, digging ditches, etc.) and would be fed a small bowl of peanut butter with four or five crackers for lunch. For dinner, we were fed very small portions of something which was referred to as meat, but was clearly just animal fat, and salad. The only thing that made the two weeks tolerable was the entertainment brought about by the husband who was drunk as often as his wife would allow it. Here is one story that we tell frequently:
He came home from his Tuesday job (which consisted of 10 minutes of working and 2.75 hours of drinking with the client) and passed out in a lawn chair. Later, when she accused him of sleeping off the booze, his defense was "I wasn't sleeping... I must have fallen. I'm sure of it!"
Another day, they were again arguing about the amount of drunk that he was:
MAN- "I'm totally sober."
WOMAN- "You're totally drunk."
MAN- "I'm mostly sober."
WOMAN- "You're mostly drunk. Go fill these water jugs from the well."
MAN- "But... I don't know if I can make it."
We feel much better now with all of that out in the open. We also realize that we are mean, judgmental people... but we have accepted that.
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